I’ve thought of perhaps a quality analogy for how marriage in Jesus Christ is suppose to work.
The collective effort of all parties involved can be likened to a bicycle. Jesus Christ and Our Father make up the framework, the husband is the front wheel, the wife is the back wheel, and the Holy Spirit is the energy which propels the whole assembly in righteous movement forward. The rider is whatever Ministry is so inspired by Love in this truly Christian union, which serves the Lord Jesus, most importantly the children born of this marriage.
The husband being the front wheel is not a glorious position on its own, because no one ever looks at a complete bicycle and says, “Oh, wow, that front wheel tho, 😍.” The husband is to seek the safest path for his wife to follow in righteousness, never ever of his own assumptions of what might harm her or the marriage or which path they should take, which will only make him try to possess her. A detrimental effort in this way causes friction, because he moves in opposition of God’s will and ends up in his wife’s territory. A bicycle with wheels that rub together is an ill-functioning one. He also in this way risks death of the entire relationship, because he is turned in the wrong direction. Instead, he must be in full submission to God. He bares the handle bars which give the Ministry a stronghold as the Holy Spirit moves us all together.
The wife as the back wheel is no lesser than her husband, but kept safest by the complete whole of the relationship. She too must be in submission to God and is allowed to own her territory in Him, not to be overshadowed by her husband, but protected by his leading. Her contribution to the whole is just as important a role, and she bares the seat upon which the Ministry rides. If she tries to go in opposition to God’s will, she drags the whole relationship down and threatens to topple the Ministry before God’s timing would otherwise, in wellness for all involved, exchange our rider for another.
Consider two whole people in Jesus Christ as well rounded, well functioning individuals made into a complete and beautiful whole in Christ, no longer unicycles, which are just as whole in Christ, but bicycles, which serve a slightly different purpose, being a little more balanced and able to bear more of a dependent Ministry.
When the spokes of a bike are straight in their ways, the wheel function as they should. And when a bicycle moves along, it is the sound of the wheels that others hear and may be impressed by. With that said, consider three additional scenarios besides the first mentioned: two broken wheels, a broken front wheel with a whole back wheel, and a whole front wheel with a broken back wheel.
The first of those three is entirely dysfunctional and only serves to move in chaotic paths, going a lot of nowhere really uselessly fast. This scenario also is not made up and propelled forward by the Godhead but a man made choice that has to function by synthetic means of power, usually mutual covert or overt hatred or at the very least resentment and laziness of the deeper soulkind, poorly crafted framework, and built with incomplete ideals.
The second scenario describes a marriage in which the wife has been made whole in Christ, but the husband has not. If this has happened within the timeline of the marriage, her willingness to submit to Jesus replaces broken framework and incomplete ideals with wholeness and righteousness in Love. When this occurs, the husband will identify a change in the relationship, because it is impossible to deny. His reaction to this is between him and Jesus Christ, but the way his wife begins to sound and function will be a witness to him. Jesus’ grace envelopes the whole relationship for his sake, but especially for her sake, because she is allowed to see her faith moving the whole assembly into safer territory according to the promises of her Savior Jesus. A husband in this kind of scenario benefits from his wife’s relationship with Christ, but he must internalize the Truth for himself to be made whole and accomplish God’s purpose for him in the marital union. Otherwise, he contributes only a constant strain. Often, this is evident in his communication, because if what he speaks causes pain, then his spokes must be broke. If the wife’s conversion occurred before her marriage was established, then she made a foolish and detrimental decision, risky to her soul, to marry into an unequal yoking, but even in this scenario, repentance to and further dependency upon Jesus Christ can bring redemption to her and a witness through her to the broken husband.
The third scenario describes a relationship in which the husband is whole, but the wife is not. If the husband’s coming to Christ occurred within the context of his marriage, he will immediately begin to love his wife Truly, which many men so significantly fail to do. I believe if more men loved their wives by Christ abiding in them and they in Christ, there would be far, far less broken wives. Wives were made to receive the love of their husbands. I believe the term “helpmeet” is the coupling to the husband’s being a “helper.” World friendly Christianity implies that the husband has liberty to take his family in whichever ways suit his whim and that the wife must steadily push forward his success, incorrectly defining helpmeet as helper. There is made occasional mention of the husband’s requirement to depend on God, but world friendly Christianity worships man and therefore bestows him all the grace. This theology claims that the man of the household is so burdened with the enormity of masculine responsibility as bestowed to him by God that if a wife in any way takes from him, she is the cause of his and their family’s shameful image. This deception makes Christian marriages just as likely to fail as our outside-of-the-church worldly counterparts, and absolutely brings no glory to the Husband of humanity Jesus Christ. A husband who loves self-sacrificially, which is only possible by his complete submission to the Godhead brings that wholeness to his marriage and family. He provides a steadiness in the implementation of godly principles in the home upon which the Ministry can take hold and gain confidence and surety. Jesus’ Christ’s grace envelopes the union, and a husband’s faith can move them forward quite effectively, providing not only a witness to his wife of God’s healing love, but also a safe relationship in which to gain her own connection with Christ and strength of faith in Him. A husband who is whole in Christ but marries into an unequally yoked marriage has made a foolish decision, and he may suffer grave consequences for this choice, having not allowed the Lord to guide in who should be his wife. However, repentance to and further dependency on Jesus Christ can bring redemption to him and a witness through him to his wife.